“3-Cancer Career” and Conquering Fear with WAO

Hi, my name is Rangsithia, but I go by Cyn or Cynthia. My 8th-grade geography teacher, Mr. Newport, couldn’t pronounce my name, so he Americanized it in 1997. Let me give you a little history about where I came from. I am a refugee from Cambodia. I was born on April 15, 1983, in a refugee camp along the border of Thailand. My family, mom, dad, 4 older sisters, and an older brother all survived the killing fields, the Khmer Rouge massacre.

We came from hardship and always had to hustle to thrive and survive. We came here in June of 1991 to Long Beach, CA. We got to experience our first (Northridge) earthquake, and the Rodney King beating and riots!!! It was all new to a kid from a refugee camp that hasn’t seen much.

I have been through a lot in my 42 years of life. I was a caretaker for my mom, who went through cancer in her left breast and had to have a lumpectomy and radiation when I was in 7th grade (2006). She was in her early 50s. Later, she ended up having stomach cancer in 2002 and passed away in 2004 at the age of 61. I lost my mom when I was 21, in college. It was rough! I was the translator, driver, and caretaker, and I did what needed to be done. I was also taking care of my oldest deaf sister. My sister passed away from colon cancer at the age of 55 in 2019. Cancer has affected both my mom and my sister. We all lived together until they both passed away. It felt heavy being a caretaker most of my life for my mom and oldest sister. It was stressful!

I knew that there was a HIGH chance that cancer was going to be that slithering snake that was going to bite me viciously, one day. I am a three-time cancer survivor. I felt a grain-sized lump in the left breast in 2016, and four doctors dismissed it. In April of 2017, I felt a thumb-sized lump on top of my left breast that wasn’t moving (hard texture). I was just giving myself a routine exam. I ended up having DCIS stage 0. I decided to have a bilateral double mastectomy and flap reconstruction that took 13 hrs at UCI Medical Hospital. The margin wasn’t clear, and the first breast surgeon wasn’t completely honest about the outcome of the biopsy. In 2019, different doctors finally took my concerns seriously, and I found out that I had a regrowth. It was another thumb-sized tumor. The second breast surgeon had to remove my stomach DIEP flap, and the plastic surgeon put in a tissue expander and then a silicone implant at (the end of the year). Fast forward to May 2023, when I felt a gummy pea-sized tumor along the left axillary (armpit area). It turned out to be HER2+ axillary cancer that was estrogen-driven. This was only 7 months after I was told that my scan was clear. I was barely 4 years in the clear between cancer 2 and 3! I had to put in my port to do 13 rounds of chemotherapy. I got super sick and was hospitalized for having pancolitis. I had to be my own advocate and kept telling them that what I was feeling wasn’t right. So, they had to change my chemo drug. I also had to do 25 sessions of radiation and 13 rounds of targeted therapy. In June 2025, I had my second mastectomy to remove my left implant and my right DIEP flap. I am getting stronger each day, but I still feel fatigued from time to time when I do too much!

Fast forward a few months, ago I saw Elissa posting on your IG story about the collaboration with WAO-NAC. I was so excited and applied. I knew that I wanted to go and do water activities and get away for 5 days, even though I cannot swim. It was tricky leaving the day before my kids were about to start school.

WAO Campers

I was SO STOKED when I found out that I got picked to go to camp Emerald Bay with NAC-WAO and wegotthis.org. I felt so lucky and thankful to be selected! I knew what it might entail (activities), but I did not fully know that everything exceeded my expectations. I only had 2 hours of sleep the day that we met at the San Pedro Catalina Express landing. I was just super excited and anxious to meet other cancer thrivers and survivors. This was the first experience with other cancer folks. I met Ashley first, and she was so kind and friendly. Then Gaby came over to introduce herself. She was kind enough to engage in a conversation with me on our boat ride from Two Harbor to Emerald Bay. Gaby was so nice, engaging, and we had a great conversation. We spoke about our kids, family, life, and so on. I felt so comfortable interacting with Gaby. She’s simply amazing. The first person to come and say hi to me on the Catalina Express was Nicole. She just started talking to me, and it snapped me out of being a loner. Everyone was sitting together, but I was a wallflower. I just didn’t know how to get into the group. I am not anti-social, but this was a different and new scene for me.

I have always avoided getting involved with the cancer community because I just wanted to do the check-off list with cancer and move on with my life. I was in survival mode, and I just wanted to stay within a cocoon. I also just wanted to fight a private battle with my village. Little did I know that by signing up for this retreat, my WHOLE life was about to change. I asked myself, “Why did you stay away from this amazing, loving, caring, compassionate, wonderful, and rich community for your entire span of the 3 cancers and treatments?” I WAS going to call it my “3-cancer career”! It felt like a full-time job going from one cancer to the next with surgeries, reconstructions, recovery time, and so on. I am so glad that I went, I saw, I allowed myself to explore and SOAKED it ALL in!

 From day one, this retreat made me a better person. It allowed me to decompress and open up. I loved the “dating” game when we arrived at Emerald Bay. We rotated and asked each other speed-dating-like questions. I am so thankful for the opportunity to do an ice breaker. It helped me to learn people’s names and learned something about each special person!

 From then on, I was able to relax and calm my nerves once I got to meet everyone. We had great meals, snacks, and drinks. It was nice to eat as a group three times a day. It gave us a chance to share more about our joy, excitement, eagerness, and stories about our experiences with a new activity throughout the day! I was just happy not having to cook, clean, do chores, or take care of my family (Mila 16, Liam 1,2 and Stephan, my husband of almost 18 years and dated for almost 23 years). I love them, but I needed this 5-day break! They were going to either sink or swim.

 Where do I begin??? I loved all of the water activities that I got to do, either for the first time or the 10th time. I was so stoked to do the outrigger paddling as a group. Then, I saw the tandem outrigger and knew that I wanted to take that out for a spin. I remember telling Elaine and Natalie how much I loved paddling out in the outrigger. I then asked them if we could take the tandem outrigger boat out on a different day. They said, “Yes, we can! You can do anything you want!” I loved it when people said, “YES!” to me when I wanted to further explore something that was on my bucket list!

I had so much fun, and I loved the rush, thrill, goosebumps, and conquering my fear of water. I cannot swim, but it did not stop me from trying every activity. I did not want to get out of the water!!! The life jacket, along with encouragements from all of the trusted and experienced aquatic counselors, put me at ease. Day after day, my confidence grew, and so did my inner daredevil and thrill seeker. I was able to conquer my fear every time we rode out as a team on the outrigger, kayaking, archery, picking rocks, riding on the catamaran (dancing, singing, getting excited from seeing dolphins), hiking, playing games, practicing yoga, experiencing the sound bath up close (and getting a massage), watching the sunrise and sunset, star gazing, dancing with glow sticks, sharing our stories, snorkeling, paddle boarding for the first time and being able to stand.

Cynthia paddling an OC2

Each person, Ashley, Natalie, Elaine, Dave, JoJo, Gaby, and my new friends, cheered me on. Their positive words and encouragement gave me the gusto to thrive and do more by believing in myself. I ate it all up. I loved every single moment of it and ALL activities and crafts. I caught myself smiling from ear to ear, every time my skin would touch the water. I loved the warm feeling of the sun kissing my skin. I loved the smooth, round rocks that were gliding against my water shoes, as I made my way into the refreshingly cold water! Every day, I felt like a kid in a candy store. I couldn’t wait until the next activity. I bounced from one water activity to the next. Yes, I loved it that much. I was insatiable with all of the water activities!

This activity was the one that pulled the water thrill seeker out of me… the tandem outrigger paddling with Dave! When I was given the chance to experience this, I knew that I had to quickly volunteer myself. Dave was such a great teacher; he just gave me the basic suggestions when it came to paddling. He told me that you have to trust your partner and the water. You paddle according to what you feel from the water. Sometimes you have to slow down and do bigger strokes, and other times, you have to move quickly and do smaller strokes. When I tell you that going on the outrigger in the middle of the ocean was one of the most exciting things I’ve done in my whole life, it is the truth! For once, I was able to be present and connect with water. Water is very calm and subtle, but it can also grow big swells and waves. Water is a very powerful thing, and I am glad that I was able to connect with it. I felt free. I felt Zen. I felt in tune. I felt safe, and my mind was free and clear. Thank you so much, DAVE, for making this beautiful memory with me! I will forever be grateful! It changed me. It changed how I felt about who I am! This solo experience made me want MORE. I want to be more, I want to do more. I want to become more adventurous and be less scared. It all clicked…this is what I have been seeking all along. This experience was the key that unlocked the thrill seeker in me. It gave me a second chance at life! It made me feel reborn and clear-headed. I felt that I had accomplished something that I had never done before. This bucket list item was checked off! Words can only express the experience that I had that day. You almost have to experience it yourself to know how euphoric that felt. It was so freeing, and it made me so happy.

Even though I felt all these things, it was sad that we found out that Annie had lost her good friend. I’m glad that I got to be a part of paddling out to celebrate her friend. This only made me want to do this more for her friend, even though I didn’t know her. This experience brought us all closer! Life is uncertain, so you have to try your best to live to the fullest each day!

Morning Yoga

My second experience that stood out the most was when we went snorkeling (shallow side). Since I cannot swim, I had my life jacket on. I also had to learn how to breathe through my mouth with the snorkeling mask on. Thanks for helping and teaching me this, Annie. So, Natalie was nice enough to take me on her paddleboard out to the deep end of the snorkeling area. She had me lie flat on my stomach like a starfish as I held my face down in the water. To be taxied around on a paddle board by Nat, not once, but twice on different days, was so effing AMAZING!!! I got to see beautiful, massive, and colorful corals! I saw so many thick bunches of seaweed swaying in the glass-clear and perfectly chilly bay water! There were so many bright orange garibaldi fish of different sizes and with stripes and polka dots of different colors. I was also able to see a massive lobster, and that made me crave the house special stir-fry lobster with butter, scallion, and fish sauce on a bed of stir-fry noodles! I would not have been able to witness all of those beautiful sea creatures and varieties of seaweed if it were not for Nat! She spent a long time paddling me around and allowing me to enjoy this experience. I felt like I was in a beautiful and exotic bubble that was UNREAL!!! I was so focused, and I was in a chill-out zone. For the first time, my ADHD self was relaxed, focused, and living in the moment. All I saw were the things on the other side of the snorkeling goggles. In that moment, it was just me sprawled out like a starfish on Natalie’s paddleboard. Nothing else existed, and nothing else mattered. I was at peace. I had internal peace. I was genuinely present, and that gave me a sense of joy, happiness, serenity, euphoria, and it felt like nirvana. I found something that brought me JOY, peace, and it calmed my busy mind. It felt amazing to detach myself from the busy world. It was just about me, the water hugging and tugging on my water shoes, the sun embracing me with its warm blanket of rays, and the slight breeze was whispering to me that it feels good to be fucking alive! I was there, I was present, and I enjoyed myself. I enjoyed Natalie’s company, and I appreciate her for being present for me! Thank you for paddling out with me on the outrigger, too!

In the span of 5 days, I was able to check off some bucket list items! It was amazing and soul-healing! I also enjoyed the morning yoga sessions. I loved the sound bath and the mini massage that we got! That week at camp allowed me to feel relieved, free from stress, happy, at peace, excited, thrilled, focused, relaxed, live in the moment, and be adventurous! I loved our hikes, the archery sessions, the crafting, painting, eating, and getting the goody bag! I loved the yummy food that I didn’t have to cook. It was nice not to have to worry about cooking, cleaning, and so on. I was freeeeeeee! It felt like a big piece of me had grown up.

A piece of me was given a chance to HEAL! I felt whole. I made friends.